Slender Man and I have had a long and somewhat overwhelming past. However, before getting into that, I’ll clue some of you into what Slender Man is.
This is the definition of Slender Man provided by The Slender Man Wiki:
The Slender Man is a creature or being with various nebulously defined characteristics and abilities. Slender Man was first mentioned in Something Awful Forum’s “Create Paranormal Images”. Slender Man generally appears (in modern times) as a tall man in a black or grey suit, red or black tie, and white shirt, with no eyes, mouth, or clearly defined facial features. It has no hair, and generally has normal-looking bare hands. Slenderman typically is depicted in imagery and literature as between 6 and 15 feet tall, depending on the situation, and in video as around 6-7 feet tall. Because of its inexact nature, and differences between series, no one has yet determined what it is.
For those of you who still can’t quite picture this little fella, I drew you a picture:
If you’re a regular listener, we actually tackle the Slender Man topic in Episode 14: Romancing Slender Man
Alright, feel like you’re all caught up now?
Good. We have something to talk about. After experiencing some of the lore of Slender Man a few summers ago (specifically Marble Hornets, a video series based on this legend.) I began to dread going outside alone at night. I found myself thinking about Slender Man even in the places I felt most comfortable. It wasn’t a fun summer. That was about the time that I spread my knowledge to Bill and Jeff. They thanked me in their own ways. (They didn’t thank me.)
After getting over Slender Man, for the time being, I let myself forget about him. It was quite the effort. Over the next year, Slender Man became somewhat of an internet celebrity. People KNOW Slender Man now. This led to commercialism of the Slender Man. I thought my fear was over. Boy, was I wrong. Heck, Slender Man even had his own mob in Minecraft called Enderman.
Over the past few weeks, talk of a computer game starting spreading across my usual internet hangouts. The talk was of a game called SLENDER.
Not a chance in hell was I playing this game. I was over Slender Man. I didn’t need that in my life again, no sir.
Today seemed different. It was bright and sunny. I’m in a place I consider safe. I can handle this stupid game. Bring it on.
I downloaded it and quickly began to become concerned, I hoped the download would take longer so I could talk myself out of playing. Turns out I was out of luck.
I knew I wouldn’t be able to remember all of my feelings as I played, so I chose to live tweet my experiences. Here’s what happened:
re to Slender Man by now.
-*cracks fingers* Alright, now let’s try out SLENDER. I can handle this, I’ve had plenty of exposure to Slender Man by now.
-Of course, headphones on and lights out is the way to go.
-When you pause, the game restarts. Hmm, no chicken exit. This concerns me.
-The sound of my footsteps is drowning out the sound of everything around me. When I stop, all I can hear is wind.
-Shut up, stupid owl.
-Apparently my only goal is to collect eight pages. I can do this.
-First page found. All it says is CAN’T RUN.
-Found my second page, looks like a children’s drawing of Slender Man. Nice rendering, good detail. Kids a pro.
-Found an old truck in the woods. The trailer attached to it has barred windows. Guess I’ll go in.
-Can’t get in, all the doors are locked. Oh well, ONWARD!
-Still no Slender Man. Starting to get bored…or worried.
-Weird repetitive thunder noise just started. Won’t stop.
-Sounds like a heartbeat?
-Maybe mine?
-This whole forest is surround by a fence. Also, that weird noise won’t stop. Fuck.
-Just looked over my shoulder IRL.
-Found another building. Rest area, perhaps? Haven’t found any pages in a while.
-Going in. I guess.
-That building seemed to just be crappy tiles and hallways to nowhere.
-I don’t like hearing my footsteps echo through these confusing hallways.
-Hmmm, found some gas tanks in the woods.
-OH SHIT THERE HE WAS. INSTA-CHILLS NO JOKE. FFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUU-
-Well, I made it to the second sighting and fear-quit. That’ll be enough of that. Jeeeesus.
The game is free. Try it if you want, although I don’t recommend it if you like not having poop in your pants. Download SLENDER if you must.
Good lord, that was more intense than expected. Despite the somewhat subpar graphics, that was terrifying. I need to go lay down. Excuse me.
