Author Archives: Mike

Mike Reviews! – New Super Mario Bros 2 (3DS)

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It’sa me! Mike!…Alright, that was lame. We’re off to a rocky start here. Let me pull myself together.

Hey there, Outcasts! This is a new blog segment I’m trying out. Since finishing school, I’m noticing that the time I used to spend doing homework (and sleeping) I’m now spending working, watching movies and playing games. Working aside, some of these things are good enough to warrant me spending my time writing about! This is where Mike Reviews comes into play. Each week, I’m going to review one game/movie/TV Show/whatever that I feel is necessary to review. I guess the title is pretty self explanatory. Nonetheless, this week we’re reviewing one heck of a game:

Mario has had quite the track record over the past few years. It goes without saying, however, that he’s had a few flops. Remember all of those trips to the Olympics he took with Sonic? I can safely assure you that this installment in the Mushroom Kingdom Collection is one of the best.

The story is obvious, The Koopalings have kidnapped Princess Peach. Shocked? Neither was I. Let’s be honest though. Who really plays Mario for it’s roller coaster-like plot filled with all sorts of emotions. What’s important lies in the age old question: Is it fun?

New Super Mario Bros 2 is one of the most addicting games I’ve played in years. The formula of New Super Mario Bros 2 hasn’t changed much from even the original Super Mario Bros. The goal of each level is to get from point A to point B. Considering it’s 2012, the sidescroller has been used and used again, but the New Super Mario Bros games (1 and 2 alike) add in that manic iOS game function that we all know and love. You know it, ready? Say it with me:

I MUST COLLECT EVERYTHING.

Each level in the game has three Star Coins. These coins can range from being relatively easy to collect all the way to rage-quittingly difficult. This is no different from the original New Super Mario Bros. however. What IS new, is the coin counter that you see after every level.

The game challenges you with one major task: Can you collect 1,000,000 coins?

Now, I don’t know what happens when you actually reach the million coins, but I can assure you one thing; I won’t be finding out any time soon. This game is quite long, with 8 main worlds (and several hidden worlds) it seems I’ll be playing this one for weeks.

From music to level design to graphics and humor, I give New Super Mario Bros 2 a BUY IT status.

Disclaimer: I played this on the 3DS, from what I understand the Wii version is basically the same game with different levels. I think it’s safe to assume that the Wii version will be just as great.

Now back to playing, this level is ridiculous and my OCD is kicking in. Good thing I have like…200 lives.

Why haven’t you watched Arrested Development yet?

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It has come to my attention that some of you, two of you being Jeff and Bill, have not watched Arrested Development yet. My question to you is

“WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?!”

Alright, now that I got that out of my system, I can get to my point. Arrested Development is, by far, one of the smartest/funniest/most ridiculous pieces of media to enter our eye-holes. It’s incredibly rare these days for something to reach television in the United States that isn’t a ripoff of something else. Heck, I’ve been watching AMC’s The Killing for the past few days, it wasn’t until the end of season one that I realized it was all ripped from a Swedish series.

My point is, most of you have Netflix (or a ten dollar bill sitting around.) Turn on your computer/TV/iPad/iPod/iSomething/PS3/Okama GameSphere or whatever you have and watch episode one. You’ll understand. For those of you without Netflix, Season One can be purchased for about 10 bucks if you look hard enough, just do it. I’m so confident that I’d guarantee you your ten dollars back if you dislike the show, but…well, college…you understand.

Don’t trust me? That’s fine. I’m going to list some names that appear in the show. Maybe that will do the trick.

Jason Bateman
Michael Cera
Will Arnett
David Cross
Jeffrey Tambor
Alia Shawkat
Portia de Rossi
Jessica Walter (Archer fans will recognize her as Sterling’s mother.)
Tony Hale
Henry Winkler
Judy Greer
Jeff Garlin
Charlize Theron
Amy Poehler
Julia Louis-Dreyfus
Ben Stiller
Andy Samberg
Rob Huebel
Zach Braff
Dave Attell
Rob Corddry
Jack McBrayer
Andy Richter
Jamie Kennedy

THE LIST GOES ON AND ON!

If you haven’t considered watching it by now, I give up. Just do it for me. Please.

For those of you who ARE fans of the show. HOW ABOUT DEM SEASON 4 PHOTOS?! AMIRITE?

For those of you who don’t know what I’m talking about, take a gander at these photos Jason Bateman has been tweeting.


@batmanjason: My son arriving on set.


@batemanjason: A grandson looking for his Gangee.


@batemanjason: First Day. Away we go. (Workaholics fans, look closely.)

I have to get going, I seriously can’t stop watching this show (and it’s my fifth time through the series since the first time I saw it…)

Oh, I drew Tobias yesterday. David Cross has one of the best television roles of all time in this series.


I’m afraid I just blue myself.

Mike plays SLENDER.

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Slender Man and I have had a long and somewhat overwhelming past. However, before getting into that, I’ll clue some of you into what Slender Man is.

This is the definition of Slender Man provided by The Slender Man Wiki:

The Slender Man is a creature or being with various nebulously defined characteristics and abilities. Slender Man was first mentioned in Something Awful Forum’s “Create Paranormal Images”. Slender Man generally appears (in modern times) as a tall man in a black or grey suit, red or black tie, and white shirt, with no eyes, mouth, or clearly defined facial features. It has no hair, and generally has normal-looking bare hands. Slenderman typically is depicted in imagery and literature as between 6 and 15 feet tall, depending on the situation, and in video as around 6-7 feet tall. Because of its inexact nature, and differences between series, no one has yet determined what it is.

For those of you who still can’t quite picture this little fella, I drew you a picture:

If you’re a regular listener, we actually tackle the Slender Man topic in Episode 14: Romancing Slender Man

Alright, feel like you’re all caught up now?

Good. We have something to talk about. After experiencing some of the lore of Slender Man a few summers ago (specifically Marble Hornets, a video series based on this legend.) I began to dread going outside alone at night. I found myself thinking about Slender Man even in the places I felt most comfortable. It wasn’t a fun summer. That was about the time that I spread my knowledge to Bill and Jeff. They thanked me in their own ways. (They didn’t thank me.)

After getting over Slender Man, for the time being, I let myself forget about him. It was quite the effort. Over the next year, Slender Man became somewhat of an internet celebrity. People KNOW Slender Man now. This led to commercialism of the Slender Man. I thought my fear was over. Boy, was I wrong. Heck, Slender Man even had his own mob in Minecraft called Enderman.

Over the past few weeks, talk of a computer game starting spreading across my usual internet hangouts. The talk was of a game called SLENDER.

Not a chance in hell was I playing this game. I was over Slender Man. I didn’t need that in my life again, no sir.

Today seemed different. It was bright and sunny. I’m in a place I consider safe. I can handle this stupid game. Bring it on.

I downloaded it and quickly began to become concerned, I hoped the download would take longer so I could talk myself out of playing. Turns out I was out of luck.

I knew I wouldn’t be able to remember all of my feelings as I played, so I chose to live tweet my experiences. Here’s what happened:
re to Slender Man by now.

-*cracks fingers* Alright, now let’s try out SLENDER. I can handle this, I’ve had plenty of exposure to Slender Man by now.

-Of course, headphones on and lights out is the way to go.

-When you pause, the game restarts. Hmm, no chicken exit. This concerns me.

-The sound of my footsteps is drowning out the sound of everything around me. When I stop, all I can hear is wind.

-Shut up, stupid owl.

-Apparently my only goal is to collect eight pages. I can do this.

-First page found. All it says is CAN’T RUN.

-Found my second page, looks like a children’s drawing of Slender Man. Nice rendering, good detail. Kids a pro.

-Found an old truck in the woods. The trailer attached to it has barred windows. Guess I’ll go in.

-Can’t get in, all the doors are locked. Oh well, ONWARD!

-Still no Slender Man. Starting to get bored…or worried.

-Weird repetitive thunder noise just started. Won’t stop.

-Sounds like a heartbeat?

-Maybe mine?

-This whole forest is surround by a fence. Also, that weird noise won’t stop. Fuck.

-Just looked over my shoulder IRL.

-Found another building. Rest area, perhaps? Haven’t found any pages in a while.

-Going in. I guess.

-That building seemed to just be crappy tiles and hallways to nowhere.

-I don’t like hearing my footsteps echo through these confusing hallways.

-Hmmm, found some gas tanks in the woods.

-OH SHIT THERE HE WAS. INSTA-CHILLS NO JOKE. FFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUU-

-Well, I made it to the second sighting and fear-quit. That’ll be enough of that. Jeeeesus.

The game is free. Try it if you want, although I don’t recommend it if you like not having poop in your pants. Download SLENDER if you must.

Good lord, that was more intense than expected. Despite the somewhat subpar graphics, that was terrifying. I need to go lay down. Excuse me.

Mike’s Most Anticipated 2012 Films: Volume 1

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Outcasts! Welcome and Happy Thursday! We’re one week away from the first entry of my web comic, so I figured I’d get in the habit of posting on a Thursday.

January 1st not only brought the beginning of 2012, but it also brought the beginning of a new movie season! This year is packed with countless sure-to-be beloved hits. I figured, why not share some of the flicks I’m looking forward to. Here’s four of the many talkies that I’d like to catch this year in no particular order. (Don’t worry folks, more to come eventually.)

Sound good? Okay, let’s go!

(Oh yeah, I’m not super educated on copyright’s and all that jazz, so I quickly drew you some pictures instead of stealing them from the movie companies. Hope that’s alright.)
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MIB3

Men in Black, ah, what a nostalgia trip for someone my age. The first film had us enthralled back in the day. The effects were spectacular, the laughs were maniacal, the action was unparalleled. It was truly a classic to our 90’s child brains. Then something happened. Men in Black 2. What the hell happened there? This train wreck of a movie was a scab on cinema’s back. How could they do this to us? How did this happen? Either way, my hopes are high that they treat MIB3 as an apology for the series’ first sequel. I have faith.

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The Lorax

“At the far end of town, where the Grickle-grass grows
and the wind smells, slow-and-sour when it blows.”

The first time I read those words, I knew I was in for a trip. I haven’t had that feeling in a long time…then I saw the trailer for The Lorax. I’m not sure if it was the whimsical Polyphonic Spree, the seemingly endless color palette or the spot on voice acting. Something about that trailer did it for me. Despicable Me was a blast, and Horton Hears a Who was done right. How could this go wrong?

[Crosses fingers that I don’t eat those words.]

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The Avengers

Assemble.

This was the only word I saw when I first laid my eyes on the teaser poster we received at the theater. That’s all I needed to see.

At this point, we’re looking at 3 1/2 hours for this flick. ‘Nuff said.

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The Dark Knight Rises

I can’t wait to see the look on people’s faces when they go into THE DARK KNIGHT RISES to find their new Halloween costume. Failure will be had. The best part about this trilogy caboose is that I can stop hearing about the Joker (All respects to Mr. Ledger, may he rest in peace.)

This is the comic nerd’s Batman film, and we’re about to get a heavy dose of that this summer.

My heart goes out to those of you who enter the theater unprepared.

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There you have it, Outcasts. Four of the 30(or so) movies that I absolutely can’t wait to feast my eyes on.

At that, I will make a promise to you.
Someday my writing will be as decent as my doodles. I’ll work on it.

Enjoy what you have left of your Thursday, friends!

Won’t you be my NEIGH-bor?

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This is the best headline I’ve seen in 2012, barn-none.

Oh, to be a Central Pennsylvania native. Stories such as these are seriously the reason I pick up a newspaper anymore. I could take this opportunity to make countless horse jokes, but instead I’ll send you off with something Bill said in regards to this headline:

“Reminds me of Old McDonald, but instead of having a farm, he fucked a farm.”

I’m pretty sure the song goes, “Save a Horse, Ride a Cowboy” not the other way around.

Reddit is going dark on January 18th to protest SOPA.

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Considering my lack of internet free-time over the past few weeks, I’ve been keeping up with hot button news through Twitter. Where else would I go, right? Everyone’s nerd brother, Wil Wheaton (@wilw) recently tweeted this gem that put a smile on my face:

Reddit is going dark on January 18 to protest #SOPA and #ProtectIP. I hope Google, Facebook, Twitter, Fark, Tumblr, and AOL will join them.

This is simply fantastic in my eyes, what a step in the right direction. I’ve been a redditor for about 4 years now, and I’ve seen some really cool stuff when it comes to internet movements, but this one has to take the cake in my book.

Obviously, being internet people, we can safely say Popular Outcasts is an Anti-SOPA crew, but we wanted to hear some of the thoughts of our listeners. So talk down there. In the comments. I’ll be watching.

More information on the event can be found

Oh hey guys, I finally got it to work! (AND EXCITING NEWS!)

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Some of you Outcasts may be wondering why I never make posts on here, truth is, I never knew how until tonight. I assure you all that this will be changing drastically over the coming weeks as my derp intake is being minimalized drastically. Keep your eyes peeled for some quality blog posts from yours truly soon! (After this one, of course.)

Actually, while I have your attention, I’d like to make an announcement. Next Thursday (January 19th) will mark the first entry of my new weekly comic BRAIN POOP. I hope you will all join us each week for a trip through my mind in the form of semi-decent images created by me. All I ask is that you humor me at the very least and I’ll be satisfied.

Enjoy the rest of your Tuesday, internet.